So today I listen to someone tell me all the reasons why they cannot. I just listen (so not like me).
I ask the odd question like why?, who? And how? And they answer. This flurry of words that they finally say is not an excuse (is it?) My next questions are about the obstacles. Why are they so? What’s within their gift to get over, around and beyond them and what isn’t. Who do they need and when?
We carry on in this vein for some time. Me asking questions and taking note, nodding encouraging more and them speaking. I’m also looking at their body language and they are now allowing their shoulders to drop, using their hands to gesticulate but no longer wildly more firmly, confidently.
Their language is changing. They’re no longer using terms that suggest denial. They’re in acceptance and problem solving mode and I think I can almost see that they see it too. I then ask them to get out their notebook and I clarify the many things they said they could and, guess what? Now they’re saying what they will do to be in control of the change they want to see. They’re noting actions, timings as well as the help they needs and when. We book another date in the diary.
This is their first coaching session and they say it’s left them feeling positive. They know they can arrange an earlier appointment with me but for now, we book something for 3 weeks time when they will have taken some of the actions, can feedback and workout their next steps. This is their first coaching session.
This is the first time I’ve formally called myself a coach but it was exactly what I needed- to know I’d always been coaching the people around me. I just had to first ask questions of myself, take ownership, take note/actions, having identified the positive people I needed around me. My motto? Question everything Anon TOWDN
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